Say That Again, Please?
by Schoe B. Doo
Summary: It had been one week since James Potter fell unconscious and Lily Evans could not, for the life of her, fathom why she cared. She hated him, she thought. She hated him with every fiber of her being. So why was she here?
1. Sixth Year, May 1977

**Sixth Year, May 1977**

It had been one week since James Potter fell unconscious and Lily Evans could not, for the life of her, fathom why she cared. She paced outside the Hospital Wing, nipping at the nail of her thumb. She hated him, she thought, walking a foot away from the door only to sigh and turn back. She hated him with every fiber of her being.

So why was she here?

Lily ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at the roots, and groaned. _God, save me_.

One week ago, James had pulled her aside to make a declaration.

"After I win, I'm going to ask you out one more time," he told her, unabashed certainty coating his every syllable. "And this time, Evans, you won't say no."

This grabbed Lily's attention. He had asked her out a hundred times before, and each ended with a ruthless rejection. Nothing had changed between them. And yet, Potter was confident she would say yes. She was curious.

"Wow, Lils," Mary Macdonald said as they took their seats amidst the sea of red and gold. "First time in five years I've seen you so excited for a Quidditch match." She winked. "Finally falling for Potter's charms, are you?" Lily rolled her eyes at prospect.

The game was quick and dirty. A flurry of green and red zipped through the pitch. Anger and adrenaline hung in the air, as desperation enveloped the Slytherin players. For every one Quaffle a Slytherin shot through the rings, James shot three, and then four, and then five. The gap was growing, and so were the fouls. Slytherin Beaters aimed at arms instead of Bludgers, and Chasers pushed and pulled for the Quaffle. But the Gryffindor team was ablaze. They sped up their passes to make goal, after goal, after goal, unperturbed by the scum scattered in the field. The crowd breathed in as the Gryffindor seeker shot down to the ground like a bullet. A golden twinkle floated meters below her. Both Slytherin Beaters aimed a Bludger at her. James shot through the field to block them. Lily held her breath.

Gryffindor had won, but James Potter had taken a Bludger to the head and the stomach. He plummeted like a comet from his broom, and Lily watched as blood spilled from his body like broken string.

 _He looked so fragile._

"Lily?"

It was Remus Lupin. He was exiting the Hospital Wing just as Lily's hair had begun to resemble the end of a broom.

"Are you alright?" he asked her.

"Fine, just fine," she piped, her hands falling from her hair to her waist.

"Here to visit James?" Remus smirked.

"I-It's not that I care but M-Mary told me he was awake so I thought I'd just—"

Remus held the door open and stepped aside. "Go ahead," he said, grinning.

Lily listened to her heels against the tiles as she made her way inside. The crisp sound calmed her nerves. _Clack, clack, clack._ She stopped when she saw Sirius Black, raucous and rowdy at the foot of one of the beds. She took a deep breath and sped up her footsteps. _Clackclackclackclack_. Stop.

"Evans?"

James Potter stared at her from his white hospital bed. Splotches of red, blue, and purple decorated his skin like ink splatter. He had bandages wrapped around his head and arms, spots of yellow bleeding through the surface.

"So it's true then," Lily said, holding her head up high as she spoke. "You're awake."

James chuckled. "Careful, Evans, or I might think you actually missed me."

"Nonsense," Lily huffed. "I was just curious, that's all." She tapped her foot on the ground as she stood, arms crossed, between Sirius and Peter Pettigrew.

"Look," James sighed. "I know I said I was going to ask you out after we won, but I just don't feel like hearing another no right now."

His words pierced through her like arrows. She felt her chest tighten from, was it guilt? Fear? Shame? She had no time to think. She opened her mouth to reply before the words had registered.

"I wasn't going to say no," Lily blurted. Her hands flew up to her mouth.

James' eyes were wide, like crystal balls. " _What did you say?_ " He was close to screaming.

Lily repeated the words in her head as she spun on her heel and ran. _CLACKCLACKCLACKCLACK_. She slammed the door behind her.

 _What_ did _I say?_

* * *

Hello world of fanfiction! It's been a while hehe but yes I'm still alive. After years of reading James and Lily fanfiction, I decided it was time to write my own. So here's my shot at it :) This starts at the tail end of their Sixth Year.

Enjoy!

xx Schoe


	2. Sixth Year, June 1977

**Sixth Year, June 1977**

Lily Evans was not particularly skilled at confrontation. In the weeks that followed what she had deemed 'The Mistake,' she demonstrated just how adept she was at avoiding it. While James lay tucked away in the Hospital Wing, Lily expended much of her energy avoiding his three nosy friends. Instead of a table at the library, she studied hidden amongst bookshelves, squeezed between the magical herbs and poisonous flowers sections. She went to breakfast early and ate dinner late. She spent lunch hidden at the far corners of the corner room, nibbling on year-old digestive biscuits.

The days crawled by like fire ants. Summer stretched before them, dry but sticky. James was finally free of Pomfrey's clutches, but Lily remained within the confines of her dormitory: safe, sound, and studying for final examinations. With Lily's aptitude for avoidance, James had no chance to confirm what she said until the _very_ last day of the school year.

Of course, James being James, he would never let that one chance pass.

The Great Hall was peppered with students, colored with their houses and their dreams of home. Red and gold banners hung from the ceiling. Lily was seated, snug between Mary Macdonald and Marlene McKinnon, listening Dumbledore's gentle cadence cascade through hall to a crescendo. As his speech approached its final sentence, she saw James smile from the corner of her eye. _Oh no_ , she thought, butterflies doing summersaults in her stomach. She was trapped, in every sense of the word. Her breath was in spasms.

As their table exploded with cheers celebrating their 477 points, James shot up from his seat like a firework. He stared at Lily, and she saw sincerity in his eyes. A shroud of silence blanketed the room. Suddenly, Lily felt cold.

"Lily Evans," she heard her name thundering through the hall. "Will you go out with me?"

There was another silence, thicker this time – so thick Lily felt it weighing down her shoulders. Stares burned the back of her head. Her eyes fell on James, who looked as sure as he did when he made that stupid declaration. She felt calm, resigned. She breathed in.

"Yes."

Screams consumed the Great Hall. Hands flew towards James, patting him on the shoulder, on the back, congratulating him for doing what they thought impossible. Lily's friends screeched from beside her. "How did this happen," they exclaimed. "I can't believe you actually, finally said yes!"

But Lily knew James couldn't hear them. She saw it in the way his eyes never wavered from her. He took in this moment with every cell in his body – a moment he thought, they _all_ thought, would never come. He got Lily Evans to go out with him. And this, Lily noted, made this moment a legend.

He sought her out on the train, but Lily hid. A 'yes' didn't mean they were friends. In all honesty, Lily had no idea what her 'yes' meant at all.

"You're going on a date with him," Mary said, her frustration woven into the words. "A _date_ , Lily. How could you _not_ know what this means?"

"But he's _James Potter_ , and I'm _Lily Evans_ ," she replied.

"So what?" Mary and Marlene were screaming at her now.

"We hate each other," she said.

"James never hated you," Marlene pointed out, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Yes, but _I_ hate _him_ —"

"Not anymore," Mary sang, wagging a finger in front of Lily's face. "You obviously don't hate him since you said yes."

Lily sighed. She was right. But Lily was also stubborn, and an expert at dodging confrontation.

So when James caught her as she exited the train, she knew exactly what to do.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the crowd. "Evans, why are you avoiding me?" the question was pointed, but his lips were curled into a smile. Lily recognized the sincerity in his eyes.

"I'm not avoiding you, Potter," Lily said, but her tone was weak. He could tell she was lying but didn't press.

"So about our date—"

"I'll owl you," Lily blurted. "About our date, I'll owl you." She repeated, this time enunciating the words.

Her father's distant calls reached her ears. She mouthed 'I'll owl you' as she turned away from him, her fingertips grazing his wrist. Heat rushed to her face when she noticed, but she told herself it was just the crowd. _It was hot because of all the people. That's all it was. It was the crowd._ As she trudged toward her parents, her owl hooted in her cage, surprised by the speed of her march.

Lily did not owl him. In fact, after two weeks, James had begun to send _her_ letters. Guilt lapped at her feet as an owl tapped the window. This was his third in two weeks.

After "Dear Lily," most of the words had been scratched out. Lily felt his frustration through the dips in the parchment. "Why haven't you written?" The guilt was nudging her. She pulled out a spare piece of parchment and began to scribble, the hesitation evident in her cursive.

"To: James Potter," she wrote. "Sorry, my sister's getting married and she's given me no time to breathe. I've barely been getting any sleep." It was only half a lie. "How about Thursday? There's a great ice cream parlor down the street from my house. Sorry again." She signed it with Lily Evans.

She received a reply the same day. The words "Sure! See you Thursday!" were scrawled in large letters at the center of the parchment. Lily smiled, seeing the same sincerity printed in his letter. Maybe, she thought, it was good she gave him a chance.

 _Maybe he had changed._

Thursday arrived and Lily felt anxious. She rested her hands on her stomach. _It was a bad idea to have the date so close to home_ , she thought. She wanted it to be convenient for her, easy to go home in case things turned for the worse. But her parents had taken the day off to help Petunia with her wedding and now she felt her stomach churning.

 _Oh God, James is going to meet my parents_.

She was looking up at the sky, begging for divine intervention, when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Lily said, sprinting. She could block James with her body, she perused. She could run out the door and close it before her parents even see.

And it was a good plan, until she saw James.

He's not wearing robes, Lily noted, before mentally slapping herself in the face. _Of course he's not in robes! We aren't in school, you dolt!_

She felt panic. Since when did James Potter make her feel like a dolt?

"Lily, who's there?" her mother called. Lily yelped as she made a move to close the door. James stared at her, a mix of concern and amusement etched in his eyes – and the sincerity, that same sincerity, sparkled underneath. He entered her house, or, rather, he strode inside.

 _How is he not nervous?_ Lily screamed in her mind. _He's meeting my parents. He's meeting my parents!_

"Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Evans," he beamed at them.

 _He's met my parents._

Lily's parents stared, mouths agape. James noticed the silence and took it upon himself to fill it, confidence oozing from every crevice in his body. "I'm James. James Potter. I go to Hogwarts with Lily."

"Oh, you're a wizard!" Lily's mother was excited now. She rushed to him, asking him if he played Quidditch because he was so tall and fit ("Ugh, mom!"), if Dumbledore was really as old as Lily told him he was ("He is!"), if the staircases in the castle really moved ("They do!"), "Oh, is Hogwarts _really_ a castle?"

As James confirmed all the statements, Lily dragged him out of the house by the elbow.

"Going for ice cream, won't be back too late!" Lily shouted as she ploughed her way to the door.

"Bye Mr. and Mrs. Evans! It was nice meeting you!" James grinned. Lily slammed the door.

They stood on the porch facing each other. Lily swallowed.

"Hey," James said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey," Lily replied.

"You, uhm, you look great!" He grinned, eyes twinkling.

"Thanks." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and instantly berated herself.

"Your parents are really nice," James offered.

Lily laughed. "Yeah, well, they really love magic."

There was a silence before Lily spoke up. "Umm," she said, hesitating. James cocked his head at the sound of her voice. "Sorry about... not writing to you." She bit her lower lip.

"Don't worry about it." He flashed his teeth again, and Lily swore they sparkled. "I'm just... glad we're finally doing this."

He was holding back his excitement, Lily noted. She took in his worried smile, his nervous ticks, and she grinned back at him. Here was James Potter, for the first time since she had known him, unsure of himself.

It was refreshing.

As they descended the steps, Lily spotted how James had gotten to her house, and a realization dawned on her.

"No way, Potter," Lily said, taking a step back. "I am _not_ riding a motorbike."

"C'mon, Evans!" His tone was playful. "It's just down the street. You'll be _fine_."

"You don't even have helmets!" Lily gasped.

"Magic folk don't need helmets!" James puffed his chest. "Come _on_ , Lily."

The sound of her name weakened her resolve, but Lily Evans would never admit that. She rolled her eyes and stomped down the steps, a resolute " _Fine!_ " escaping her lips with a grumble.

James skipped down the steps. He straddled the bike and patted the space behind him, grinning at Lily. Lily wanted to scream at him, call him a conceited git with no concern for other people. Instead, she climbed the motorcycle and told herself that they weren't going to die, they weren't going to die, she would be okay, she would be okay.

"Hold on to me, Evans," James said with a wink as he revved the engine.

Lily didn't want to, but as she felt the wind fast on her face, she buried herself into James' back without a second thought. _I'm not going to die, I'm not going to_ die. She heard the vibrations of James' laughter. She wanted to slap him as she hung onto his t-shirt.

 _He smells good_.

Lily shook her head at the thought. James' back straightened at the movement. "Stop tickling me, Evans! Now's not the time to cuddle."

"Shut up, Potter."

They arrived at the ice cream parlor in minutes, but Lily couldn't hear the engine stop with her heartbeat in her ears. James savored the moments before tapping the arms clutched around his waist.

"Oh, we're here." Lily's head perked up from James' back, and she hopped off the motorbike like it was made of lava.

James parked the bike in an alleyway by the shop, muttering spells to keep it hidden.

"Where'd you get _that_ anyway," Lily said, the contempt clear in her diction.

"Borrowed it from Sirius," James replied.

"Oh, Black, _of course_." Lily rolled her eyes.

James chuckled. "Shall we go then?" He led her inside, his hand touching her back by the fingertips. Lily felt his hesitation and smiled.

"So, what'll it be, Evans? Strawberry? Vanilla? Maybe both?" James said, bouncing at the sight of the ice cream.

"I think I'll just have the classic sundae," Lily replied.

"Hey, maybe we can share one." James looked smug.

"Not so fast, Potter." Lily pointed a finger at his face. James chuckled.

The pair settled on chocolate sundaes: one each, of course. They sat by the window, the sunlight reflecting against the ice cream goblets, making them twinkle. Lily didn't know what they talked about, but the hours passed by them like seconds. They talked, and laughed, and teased. The residue left by their finished desserts melted at the bottom of the glass.

"Oh, God!" Lily said, noticing the sunlight dissolve into a deep orange. "What time is it? I'd better get home."

They procured the motorbike from the alley, underneath the faint flickering glow of the streetlamp. Lily noted, pleasantly surprised, that she was no longer afraid of riding it. She slipped into the space behind James in one smooth motion and let the cold breeze envelope her face.

"Shit," James said as he swerved to avoid a car heading their way, beeping at them with full volume.

"James!" Lily shrieked. The motorbike wobbled beneath them.

"It's getting a bit dark, and I'm not familiar with the roads—"

But Lily's screams overpowered his apologies. She dug her nails into his stomach as she held on for dear life.

"I'm sorry," James said as he pulled up to the driveway. Lily sprinted from the seat to the porch.

"Lily, wait!"

She stopped at the upper step. "Don't call me Lily." She turned around and marched back toward him, screaming insults in a frenzy of rage. "I should've known better than to agree to this. You are nothing but an arrogant toerag, James Potter," she jabbed a finger at his chest. "Grow up."

Lily tramped back to her house and shut the door behind her with a pronounced bang. She and James didn't speak for the rest of the summer.

* * *

I was in the zone, so I figured I'd keep the momentum going with another chapter haha! This one is more than twice the length of the first (which is, arguably, more of a prologue) because I wanted to get sixth year out of the way ASAP.

I hope you guys enjoy it! :)

xx Schoe


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